What Happens When One Becomes Two?

It's not what you might think! I have always been fascinated by twins and the boys I care for are especially fascinating little people. Just think about it - they were together at the moment of conception! They have been and will be a pair, a team, a unit, "the twins" their entire lives.

These boys also speak in what has been referred to as "twin talk." From a very early age, and especially since they became exceedingly vocal about a year ago, they communicate profusely with each other. It sounds like babble to us, but it is so clear they know what the other is saying--some primal connection that they alone share.

Being active boys and part of a sibling group that is very dramatic, intelligent, inquisitive, strong-willed, independent and bright, they fight - a lot - with each other and their sister. But let me tell you, if one of those boys is placed in time out, the other follows and sits quietly next to his brother - even if the offending brother is in time out for some infringement upon the rights of the other!

Where is all this leading? Well, today big sister had morning preschool and one of the boys was taken to the hospital to have an x-ray on a foot that seems to have been bothering him. Dad and other twin had to "sneak out" because the left-behind twin was determined he was getting his jacket and going along--after all the boys never go anywhere without the other one!

So for a couple of hours it was just one little now-alone twin and me. We had a wonderful, rare, one-on-one time reading books and watching favorite videos. He even got to practice turning on and off the porch light about 25 or 30 times - learning "on" and "off." On the way to pick up sister at noon though, he kept stressing about the fact that his brother's car seat (and so his brother) was not in the car. "Buckle?" He kept asking, referring to 'buckling in' the boys in their car seats.

I got to thinking about how disorienting and confusing it must have been for him to be suddenly alone. Yes, I was there, but brother was not. And brother is always with him. They share a room, they share a bond that no one else on earth will ever understand or break. They shared their mother's womb.

I thought he must feel the way I do sometimes in my relationship with God. Sometimes I feel as if I'm traveling through a time without God's presence. It's not that God has sneaked out the door, but rather that I have turned aside or turned away altogether. I become hard-headed (stiff-necked?) and prideful and push God out of the picture. God is there with me, but I don't acknowledge Him.

At some point though, I begin to feel the way my little lonely twin must have felt for a while today: as if I am utterly and completely on my own - as if part of me is missing. That's when I run back to God, like the prodigal I have been, begging for forgiveness.

The "twin talk" between God and me is through the Holy Spirit living and working in me - interceding on my behalf when I don't know what to pray. I think about how truly joyful the twins are when the other one is finally awake from a nap--or home from the hospital with Dad--and I get it. I really do. That's how I feel when I know God has already forgiven my sin.

What a relief. What a great joy. What true blessing to be a recipient of God's grace.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. [Romans 8:26-27 NIV]